Today, I’d like to celebrate that magical, mysterious, sometimes painful, moment of “knowing” a painting is done. I mean, seriously, you can keep working on the damn thing forever. “Finished” isn’t so much a distinct state or point in time as it is a decision and declaration. Put the brush down and call it done. Sometimes joyful, sometimes frustrated. Sometimes just plain exhausted.

All this to say I recently finished a painting that I was struggling with. It required three attempts before things took off. Glad I stuck with it.

'oil painting of muscular, nude, male angel against a pristine blue sky, graced by large magnolia blossoms. he's grinning impishly and aiming a golden bow and arrow at an unseen target'

An angel has no memory, part 1
14 in x 11 in, oil on canvas

My motivation here, beyond the usual celebration of male beauty, is a transgressive thrill of eroticizing angels. Perhaps a reaction to my Catholic upbringing? Perhaps angels as a symbol have erotic roots that run deeper than the Christian imagery I grew up surrounded by? Is this an uncovering, a re-discovery, reclaiming? Many so-called organized religions across history organize around taking control of the erotic as a means of consolidating political and economic control. So, darlings, let’s play around with one of their symbols, shall we? Let’s take back some of that erotic territory usurped by religion.

I also find myself suddenly drawn to the angel as a presentation of male beauty that is sensual and celebratory, rather than violent or coercive. Yes, there’s a bow and arrow. But it’s the revelation of hidden desires he’s aiming at his unseen target, not a threat of subjugation.

detail of an oil painting showing alluring male torso

detail of an oil painting showing delicate magnolia blossoms

detail of an oil painting showing the face of a handsome youth with impish grin

detail of an oil painting showing hands aiming a golden bow and arrow

And the spark of inspiration, you might be wondering? At a gathering at a friend’s for some figure drawing, near Valentine’s day I believe, the model suddenly sported a pair of wings and toy bow and arrow. It was the most adorable cupid energy you could imagine. The original drawing from that night didn’t make it into he final painting, but was an important springboard to what you see here.

first progress shot of an oil painting, this is the monochrome first layer; the painting depicts a muscular, nude, male angel against a pristine blue sky, graced by large magnolia blossoms. he's grinning impishly and aiming a golden bow and arrow at an unseen target

A monochrome underpainting to lay the foundation

second progress shot of an oil painting, background color of sky and flowers has been added over the previous monochrome layer

Then some background

third progress shot of an oil painting, the color of the main angel figure has been mostly filled in

Then the fun fleshy parts, and this boi has fun parts!

the complete painting: a muscular, nude, male angel against a pristine blue sky, graced by large magnolia blossoms. he's grinning impishly and aiming a golden bow and arrow at an unseen target

Layers, layers, and more layers to make him shine ✨

What’s next? Well, as I was working through my angst, this cheeky devil decided he needed some friends to join him. So, this is now the first painting in what will be a triptych of sexy angels. The second one if off to a good start and ideas are forming for the third and most majestic of the trio. Stay tuned.

Plenty more where that came from!

Further readings

A lush rose garden with a gravel path through the middle, decorated with trellis supporting bounteous roses inviting the viewer to imagine a gentle, fragrant stroll

Who Gets to Dream

Imagination may generally be conceived of as individual, but is it perhaps more social than we realize, or are allowed to realize?

A sultry, shirtless man in sleeveless vest and sporting a lot of ink, sits suggestively in the back of pickup truck.

Even the Orchestra is Beautiful

We’re always awash—drowning, even—in gendered ideas of beauty, restrictive notions of what is beautiful, what’s allowed to be beautiful, who’s allowed to be beautiful. And then, what happens when one is considered beautiful?