What Men Want and What Men Look Like

Let’s talk about men. A subject near and dear to my heart—the subject of most of my art and a great deal of my attention. And on this thrilling and messy topic, may I present for your delectation, The Male Gazed by Manuel Betancourt. Both personal and insightful, Betancourt gives us a single individual’s experience (his own) as a lens through which to see larger trends around male beauty and the queer gaze that appreciates, and possibly defines, it.

Reading it, I was led to ponder and see differently the choices and inspirations in my work. I have certainly copped to the influence of beefcake-laden sci-fi and fantasy art already. But he showed me that there was more that I had absorbed without realizing. As an artist, it’s important to accept that we may not be as original as we think, but are, rather, the sum total—albeit unique—of our influences, conscious and otherwise. As the old commercial goes: “You’re soaking in it, Madge!”

For instance, I never gave much thought to underwear ads as an influence. But yet, I came of age at the same time as the idea of the underwear model sex object. Thanks, Calvin, darling. This defined a lot for me about how I see, want to be seen, and, of course, what makes its way into the art. The simple brief may have a more profound legacy on me, and and gay men in general, than anyone wants to admit.

I also gained a new insight on representation. It’s predominantly presented and discussed in terms of a mirror—seeing yourself on the screen, the page, what have you. This is vital, crucial, and such an empowering experience. But, reading this book, and sharing in the experiences and reminiscences, I wondered: is representation also the freedom to present your desire, unedited, uncoded, uninhibited for those that share the desire? We bond over not being the same, but wanting the same.

All in all, a fun read. It gets a bit academic in places, but still highly personal and engaging. If you’re going to buy it, buy it from someone other than Amazon. Better yet, see if a library in your area has it to borrow. Remember, darlings, when it comes to libraries, use it or lose it! This is exactly the kind of book getting censored and pulled from shelves. Requesting and checking it out (and returning it in good shape!) sends quite a message of support.

Enough sermonizing. Here’s some juicy quotes and accompanying visuals to entice you to acquire the book for yourselves. It has no pictures, despite being very visually oriented. So, I’ve provided you a few to whet your appetites and to accompany your reading.

On singlets and teenage angst…

As any red-blooded gay teen whose eyes constantly scanned my surroundings for any hints of the naked male body—everything from underwear ads to tight-fitting uniform pants—Slater was a revelation. As was his signature scarlet singlet, a piece of clothing that was as revealing as it was demure…And the singlet, a sporting piece of clothing that’s designed to showcase the male body at its most elemental—as a chiseled weapon ready to strike—was, put simply, awe-inspiring. How much of the male body can be revealed (can be made vulnerable) before it spills over into indecent, or sexual, or yes, homoerotic, if not outright gay, territory?

On machismo in the media…

If it feels like masculinity is constantly in crisis, that is because such is its very nature. It may well be that the crisis itself is masculinity. Or, at the very lest, the patriarchal masculinity whose fragility masks the very strength it purports to project.

On thirst traps…

Unlike the more straightforward concept of horniness (whose own mythic visual iconography is rife for analysis), thirst is more visceral, a physiological need. To feel parched is to risk dehydration. You don’t merely want water. You need it. Or, rather, your body needs it. To thirst after someone, it follows, means to have a similarly instinctual reflex.

On the full monty…

Masculinity has rarely offered itself up for examination; it has always been subject, never object. Whether understood through Judeo-Christian ideas of shame and nakedness, or psychoanalytic ones of power and legibility courtesy of Freud and Lacan, there’s no escaping that the male body in general, and the penis in particular, has become as inviolate as it is invisible.

And near the end of the book, comes this very pithy summary of my gay experience, for sure. 

What men want and what men look like aren’t questions to be asked in a vacuum. They are mutually constructive.

The world is too damn straight!

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